This guy might have taken a while to find the right words, it might be written just before midnight, it might take some of you by surprise that I am actually posting something I wrote, but here it is. To be 100% honest (aren’t I always, though?), I am terrified of this poem. I actually have a lot of things I will be writing that I am scared of sharing with the outside world. These are things I’m afraid to admit to myself.
Yes, this was written around midnight. Yes, I am a little cold, despite currently sitting in Phoenix, AZ. No, I am not writing about the fan overhead. I am writing about distance and memories. I have recently had some of my darker past resurface. Meaning, the things I have tried desperately to forget about are resurfacing and I am trying to confront them. At the same time, I am fearing an insurmountable distance forming between someone I value highly in my life. I think both things are related, but I don’t know how, or why, or how to overcome either of them. Instead, I feel like the ghosts are finally coming to get me… and it’s not a very good feeling.
It feels like there are ghosts in the walls
Reaching their hands out from the plaster.
My skin is pricking constantly
But it never settles back down.
I’d say this place is haunted
Except everywhere I go is seems to be now.
I can’t tell what is colder
My heart or the air around me.
Bitter cold envelopes everything
I think I see icicles forming around the windows.
My breath comes out in puffs of white
Mirroring the figures in the walls.
I feel them closing in
There’s a chance I will lose my mind
But is it really mine anyway?
Just make it quick, I beg of them
Silence greets my ears in mocking tones.
Darkness embraces me at last
But the cold is still in my bones.