Wishful

It’s official.  I do my best work when I’m in pain emotionally.  I wrote a creative nonfiction piece the other night, then a follow up last night.  I’m hoping to get them published somewhere, so fingers crossed.  Writing those pieces triggered this poem, which sort of leapt to the page without me intending it to.  It’s been almost a week without him, and it still hurts more than I imagined, as evident by this piece.  Each day gets a little better, but the pain still hasn’t subsided.  I’ll make it through, though, mostly due to writing.

The look in your eyes still haunts me
I can still see you sitting casual
The back of your Subaru open
A set of bike handlebars in your hands

The scab on your arm that you had the first night
Is finally starting to heal
After you’ve reopened it countless times
Most nights with me around to see

The words you kept repeating over and over
Like a clock tower, a gong overhead
Reverberates through my bones
I can’t outrun them, even now

The moment I turned and walked away
With the familiar hum of the engine behind me
I didn’t look back
But now I almost wish I had

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2 thoughts on “Wishful

  1. I too feel like a lot of my best stuff comes when I’m emotional (and especially when those emotions are negative).

    I like this piece, and I especially love the section:
    “The words you kept repeating over and over
    Like a clock tower, a gong overhead
    Reverberates through my bones
    I can’t outrun them, even now”

    That’s REALLY vivid; those are lines I can FEEL. Great job and good luck on your potential publications!

    1. Negative emotions are so much easier to capture for me. I think it’s because I feel less like I’m using cliches as when I’m feeling happy. Obviously being hurt is a horrible thing, but at the same time, it’s the greatest since I find I become more creative and inspired.

      I’m really glad you like this piece. It was one of those ones that I sat down and suddenly had finished it without really paying any attention to what I was saying. I’ll be sure to post if I get anything published again soon! Cheers!

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