Here’s a poem about the guy I have begun seeing (forget the bad luck thing, I seem to get it anyway). We were talking the other night about how whatever we are is quickly turning into a relationship, and how he almost ended things for that reason. I have thought a lot about what he has said, and came to the conclusion that he is running from something. He always wants me to stay the night because his bed is too big and empty without me, he calls me when his world is a mess for one reason or another, and he talks about “later” like it’s definitely happening. Because of all this, I wrote a poem about it, and for once, I think it actually captures what I want it to, even though it’s capturing a darkness I’d rather ignore.
I shouldn’t be surprised
As you tell me what’s on your mind.
Was I really expecting anything different?
You say you almost ended it
It had gotten to relationship-y
That I play the girlfriend too well
But for some reason you didn’t
Whether it be your friends or conscience
You didn’t call it quits
You want something more
I can see it in your eyes
But you’re scared
You want to be alone
Run around being a college guy
Not tied down
But you call me when you desperately need someone
You hold me tight to you each night
Try hard to impress and make me happy
You want this more than you know
You just can’t admit it
For once, you’re afraid