Day 24- Elegy

For the first time, I was able to write a NaPoWriMo prompt about elegies from a personal place.  It sucks.  But I like how they always try to focus on a specific aspect.  In this case, it’s supposed to feel hopeful in some way.

I decided to finally address my grandfather’s unexpected death in September.  He was truly a wonderful man.  He was kind and patient and insanely smart and caring and more.  He showed all of us what real love is.  He never lost his temper, even when he was ill and dying.  He was so positive and had some of the worst jokes.  I will always remember his laugh and the smile he always wore.  When my father was having severe health issues and I thought he wouldn’t make it to my wedding someday, I knew I wanted my grandfather to walk me down the aisle.  He is the man I hope to someday marry.  I will be the luckiest woman alive if I have someone like him again in my life.  So this one’s for you, Grandpa.  I love you more than I could ever express in this life.

How do you
Begin to thank the man
Who first showed you unconditional love?
Who saw the good in everything
And in everyone?
Who believed in you
Whether he supporting the thing or not?
Who was as patient as he was intelligent?
Who went for walks
Even when it was difficult?
Who picked himself up
And those around him?
How do you thank him?

You find real love.
The kind who holds your hand
The entire way.
You look for the light
Even when all you see if darkness.
You read ferociously
Expanding your mind
And then expanding it further.
You have conversations
With those you know
And the strangers at the grocery store.
You hold your tongue unless necessary.
You listen intently.
You keep moving forward
Always forward.
And someday, someday
You will get to see them
And thank him again “in person.”

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Day 14- Dream Dictionary

Why have I never thought to look at the symbols in my dreams as a source of inspiration?  This is why NaPoWriMo is such a great concept and why I try to always participate.  After explaining what a dream dictionary is, the prompt told us to pick an image (or as many as we wished) from a list of about eight.  I went with the seagull because they’re a familiar animal to me and it immediately caught my eye.  Seagulls are associated with wanting to get away from problems.  I only have a few of those right now… so I wrote about how seagulls can fly away and come back when they wish.  It’s not sad or depressing, but it’s certainly something I’m a little jealous of right now!

Fly away
Little seagull
Take the wind
Let it slide past your wings
Lift you higher above the earth
Make the waves seem small
The boats like toys
The yelling voices disappear
Until you look down
And it’s all so far away
Until you decide
To come back down.

Unofficial Day 12

Here’s the beauty of NaPoWriMo.  As long as you’re writing poetry, you’re all set!  I fell off the poetry writing game there for a little while.  I’ve been busy trying to catch up on other things I am supposed to be writing (i.e. other blogs, cover letters, thank you cards, etc).  I’ll try to be better from here on out, but I’ve still be able to keep to my goal.  I call that a win.

Today’s piece is inspired by Post Malone’s “I Fall Apart.”  I have written so much to these song, as well as the Slander remix because it strikes a nerve every time I hear it.  A while ago, I decided I needed to use the line “she cut to deep, now she left me scarred.”  Last night, while once again listening to this song on repeat, trying to coax some lines out, I struck gold with “devil in the form of a whore.”  That is exactly what my ex’s new girlfriend is.  I’m over the relationship being done–I’ve moved on and am in a much better place and with an incredible guy.  But when I get angry, it’s because my best friend chose her over me, even after everything we went through as best friends and then as a couple.  I may not love him like I once did, but I will always love the best friend I had ripped away from me.  That’s where it hurts.  That’s where I can’t move on.  And that’s where pieces of poetry like this one come from.

There’s a devil in the form of a whore
Consuming your soul
Sinking her claws into your heart
Blinding your sight by removing your eyes
Poisoning you with sweet words
That all fall empty from her lips.

You were the one
Who used the guillotine
To cut off your own arm
Just so you could be with her
And left me out in the cold
Bleeding on the sidewalk
Calling your name
Begging you to come back, to come back, to come back.

Someday
You will awaken from that spell
Realize exactly what has happened
You’ll shake the dust from your shoulders
Try to take a step forward
Until you realize that all her “love”
Cut you too deep.

Now you’re scarred like me
Except you can’t function like this
Alone and empty
Nothing there for you
Because you killed the one who truly cared
All because you needed that devil
Because you needed a whore.

Day 6- Line Breaks

I hate trying to figure out where to add line breaks or create new stanzas.  I’m lean towards four lines with relatively short thoughts, which often repeat something from one of the other lines.  With today’s prompt forcing us to try something a little different than our normal line breaks, I played around with one word lines and long lines.  I also decided to “end abruptly” to see how it felt.  I can tell you it feels a little weird and disjointed.  I’m not entirely sure what I was writing about or why.  I think I was basing this poem off what this prompt was making me think of, but who knows where my mind goes some times.

Breathe
In
Out
In
Out
Try to find the words to capture what you want
To say
To make someone feel exactly what you are
Anxiety
Excitement
A little bit of “who knows” in there for good measure.

Day 5- Photo Translations

Holy.  Cow.  This poem worked about every muscle in my brain.  After selecting a photograph, we had to find an untranslated poem to roughing translate what that poem was about based on the photo.  Does that make sense?  If not, you were with me the first seven times I read the prompt!

I decided to really challenge myself by going with a Romanian poem.  I usually do Gaelic or Norwegian because I identify strongest with those roots in my genealogy.  I selected “în caz că ți se face somn mai devreme” by Ioan Es. Pop.  I have zero idea what this poem was originally about, but it seemed to work well at times with the photo I selected.  I took this picture in December 2016 after dipping my toes in the Pacific Ocean for the first time.  I grew up on the Atlantic, so it was pretty cool to check out the other amazing body of water.  I LOVE the ocean and wish it was closer to me in Colorado, so why would I write about anything else?  I provided the original poem (in Romanian) for you to compare my translation to.  Let me know if you think I went completely off base with this!  I won’t take it personally.

In Case You See Faces Somewhere Deep

Can you see, visions in sea foam
Mirroring delicate maps, making decent swells
Mirroring delicate scenes in turbulence
Those first few steps
New in grains of sand
Padded down into the new earth.

The visions in sand, printed there
Dominant yet delicate and intricate
Imbedded because of the waves
Imprinted carefully like in snow.

Tormented seas transcribe new stories
But not necessarily infuriated ones
They can see days ahead, days behind
They sing songs, new ones sometimes
Convincing us in ballads
Of first precious loves.

The first flew primarily with care
Attention in providing
Serenity, security from the world
It can pinpoint and pinpoint it can
Many, nighttime stories.

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în caz că ți se face somn mai devreme

când eram mic, visam să fiu și mai mic.
mai mic decât masa, mai mic decât scaunul,
mai mic decât cizmele mari ale tatălui.
cât un cartof, atâta mă visam.
pentru că primăvara pe cartofi îi pu-
neau în pământ și gata,
până toamna nu-i mai necăjeau.

mă visam în cuib, printre ei,
dormind cu dulceață-n întuneric,
întorcându-mă pe-o parte și pe alta vara
iar apoi căzând din nou în somn.

și toamna să mă trezesc tot nedormit
și tot nespălat ca frații mei
și când să dea cu sapa-n noi, să sar deasupra
și să le strig: nu mai săpați, nu mai săpați,
căci vin acasă de bunăvoie,
dacă-n primăvară mă puneți la loc.

și primăvara să fiu primul pe care
îl aruncă înapoi în cuib
și tot așa, să rămân să dorm mereu,
din cuib în pivniță și din pivniță în cuib,
ani mulți, neîntors și uitat.

Day 4- Concrete Details

I got day 3 posted yesterday, but not day 4.  This Internet thing is a pain!  However, the extra time did let me mull over a few options for this poem.  We’re supposed to writ about an abstract thing using concrete nouns or adjectives.

I started writing about true, all consuming heartbreak like what I went through last October.  At first, the idea seemed so easy to write, until I sat to do so.  I couldn’t find the right words or images for what I wanted to evoke.  Instead, I tried to capture the heartbreak to healing cycle, eventually ending in the OK/recovered stage.  I’m not sure if it worked, but I think it’s a good start for something larger down the road.

A ton of bricks crushing every bone
Into a fine powder you can never clean up.
It swirls into the air in fitful patterns
Clogging lungs until it nearly chokes the life out
Before the rain comes
Pushing everything back to the earth
Freeing the air and letting light through.
Tulips and cherry blossoms begin to bloom
Birds sing overhead in soft melodies
Until the thunder arrives
Darkening the skies
Forcing everything to run for shelter
Until it passes once more
And the sun arrives again.

Day 3- List

Day 3 is a day late.  Yay, Internet!  Anyway, the prompt was to create a list poem using made up words.  Band names, movie titles, etc were suggested as a good starting point, but I decided to go a different route.  I’m not sure why I decided to write a list poem using similar sounding “C” words, but that’s where I took it.  It’s definitely a bit silly, but it’s not a bad way to come up with words I might not usually use.

Chickadee
Cherokee
Caliber
Caliper
Citrus
Circus
Cross-walk
Crop top
Crown
Clown
Clipping
Clicking
Cerebral
Celestial